We all have in innate need for certainty and security in our lives. It’s one of our human needs. Maslow taught us this with his Hierarchy of Needs motivational theory, and Anthony Robbins talks about human motivation in terms of the 6 Human Needs. The theories are similar and the idea behind them is that all of us make choices in our lives based on our desire to meet certain innate requirements before we can truly grow to be deeply personally fulfilled.
It occurred to me that fear is so pervasive in our culture right now that our own ascension to personal fulfillment in life is being stunted by a perpetual striving to feel certain or secure.
Fear shows up in so many ways. Here’s some examples of loops of fear that we can easily get trapped in:
– Lack mentality – fear that there won’t be enough
– Comparison – fear that we’re not enough
– Over-working – fear that we’ll get surpassed, that we’re not doing enough
– Chronic busyness – fear of stagnation
– Inflexibility – fear of letting your guard down
– Anxiety – fear of the future
– Fear language – constantly talking about what you’re afraid of (the government, taxes, college expenses, physical health problems, being punished by God, terrorism, extremists, fundamentalists, on and on)
These loops of fear are like being stuck on a merry-go-round, never truly feeling secure or certain in your life. So many of us get stuck trying to satisfy this basic human need that we have a hard time evolving into deeply happy people. We don’t offer ourselves the time and space to really consider how well this need is being met for ourselves right now.
If you live in a house and eat at least one meal a day, you’re doing better than the majority of people in the world. I don’t know the statistics but if you’re reading this, you probably have a relatively high measure of security and certainty. Yet we continue to let fear drive us.
As Marianne Williamson says, “Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.” It’s time that we remember what we were born with–what we were born FROM. Fear is a construct of the ego, love is the essence of the Spirit. If we want to begin to experience life in a higher vibration, living with more beauty and joy in our day-to-day lives, we have to allow ourselves the time and space to get past our mental constructs of fear and break these loops.
If you’re saying to yourself, “ya, but…”, recognize that that is your mind making excuses for not moving forward. Our egos want to keep us safe, so they resist any kind of change. But change is the only thing that is certain in this world. Everything around us and in us is in a constant state of change, which is exactly what leads too many of us to cling to any notion of sameness, of certainty, of the status quo.
What if you started every morning telling yourself that you are safe and secure? What if you ended every day telling yourself, “See, I’m still here! I AM safe and secure!” What if you consciously worked on recognizing when you are stuck in a fear loop, like one of the ones listed above, and you took some action to make a different choice? That could mean asking for support from someone close to you. It could mean taking a risk and doing something a little different than the way you did it yesterday. It could mean getting quiet and connecting to your Spirit and allowing yourself to remember the infinite love from and with which you were created.
The only way to get to a life that feels abundantly rich and beautiful is to let go of fear. I know that sounds scary, but in most cases your fear is not really protecting you, it’s keeping you stuck. And stuck is not an enlivening way to be. It might just be time.